Border Patrol Stories
A Cinderella Story
Years ago, I was part of a small group assigned to go to Washington D.C. to participate in the annual Police Week ceremonies to honor law enforcement officers who we killed in the line of duty the previous year. It was sad privilege.
Well, one of our group of three did not have the proper footwear for the dress uniform, roper boots. And all of unneeded to be in dress uniform in two days. So, we had to start a search to find a boot store that would carry and sell them. It was much much more difficult than you would imagine to find those boots in the area of our nation's capital.
It was probably the third boot store we had visited. The three of us entered and saw the store owner. The owner looked like an outlaw biker who just got out of the joint! He was huge, mean looking and had a poor disposition!
The three of us were in plain clothes. So, there was nothing that would overtly tell the owner that we were law enforcement. Nothing that might have caused him to be, perhaps... Respectful...
The three of us are checking the shelves of 100's of boots. All of them are colorful and/or have intricate stitching. Nothing like the plain, black roper boot worn with the dress uniform.
Well, the agent that needed the boots, we'll call him "Sam", approached the outlaw owner and told him that he was looking for roper boots. The owner looked at Sam as if Sam's presence was making him sick. I get the felling that the owner felt the same disdain for all three of us. It was clear that the owner thought of us as lesser men.
The owner told Sam that he had exactly one pair of boots that fit the description. He went to the back to get them.
The owner came back with a pair of ropers and said that it was the only pair he had. So, this pair of boots were going to fit Sam or we'd have to find a forth boot store.
Sam took out the boots and put them on. They fit perfectly! Score!
Then something terrible happened as Sam was test walking the boots around the store in front of the outlaw owner... Sam said, "They fit perfectly! This is like a Cinderella story."
The other agent and I were in complete disbelief that Sam would say something like that in front of the outlaw!
Well, the owner looked like he was about to physically kick the three of us out of the store. He could barely contain his disgust with the three lesser men.
Sam took off the boots and went to the counter to pay for them. I remember the price being a bit high which bothered Sam. I think they cost $210. But we were out of options.
As Sam finished paying for the boots, the outlaw owner gave him a menacing warning, "If I ever see you walking around with your jeans tucked into those boots, I'll kick the shit out of you and take those boots back."
We left and thought that would be the end of the story.
We had about a 45 minute drive back to the hotel. Along the way, the other agent and I had lots of laughs at Sam's expense. Could Sam have said a worse thing to the outlaw? "This is a Cinderella story."
About an hour later, and we arrived at the hotel. Now, the hotel had a dry-cleaning store near the lobby that also polished boots, and the ropers were dull like a chocolate bar! Sam went into the store and asked for the boots to be polished and ready for the following day. The dry-cleaner continued by making small talk with Sam. It was evident to me that the dry-cleaner was impressed with the quality of the roper boots and he asked Sam, "How much did you pay for them?"
Sam's irritation overflowed! You see, Sam was very concerned that the dry-cleaner was going to steal and sell the boots. Not wanting to assist the dry-cleaner in his suspected criminal enterprise by giving the value of the boots, Sam answered, "I don't believe I feel like discussing that with you." And the three of us left with the other agent and I barely containing our laughter!
The next day the three of us went into the store to get Sam's boots. The boots were far from having a mirror finish. They were better than a chocolate bar but Sam was going to have to put some work in them. Sam was irritated.
Over two decades later, I still use the lines, "a Cinderella story", and "I don't believe I feel like discussing that with you."
Thank you Sam!
Well, one of our group of three did not have the proper footwear for the dress uniform, roper boots. And all of unneeded to be in dress uniform in two days. So, we had to start a search to find a boot store that would carry and sell them. It was much much more difficult than you would imagine to find those boots in the area of our nation's capital.
It was probably the third boot store we had visited. The three of us entered and saw the store owner. The owner looked like an outlaw biker who just got out of the joint! He was huge, mean looking and had a poor disposition!
The three of us were in plain clothes. So, there was nothing that would overtly tell the owner that we were law enforcement. Nothing that might have caused him to be, perhaps... Respectful...
The three of us are checking the shelves of 100's of boots. All of them are colorful and/or have intricate stitching. Nothing like the plain, black roper boot worn with the dress uniform.
Well, the agent that needed the boots, we'll call him "Sam", approached the outlaw owner and told him that he was looking for roper boots. The owner looked at Sam as if Sam's presence was making him sick. I get the felling that the owner felt the same disdain for all three of us. It was clear that the owner thought of us as lesser men.
The owner told Sam that he had exactly one pair of boots that fit the description. He went to the back to get them.
The owner came back with a pair of ropers and said that it was the only pair he had. So, this pair of boots were going to fit Sam or we'd have to find a forth boot store.
Sam took out the boots and put them on. They fit perfectly! Score!
Then something terrible happened as Sam was test walking the boots around the store in front of the outlaw owner... Sam said, "They fit perfectly! This is like a Cinderella story."
The other agent and I were in complete disbelief that Sam would say something like that in front of the outlaw!
Well, the owner looked like he was about to physically kick the three of us out of the store. He could barely contain his disgust with the three lesser men.
Sam took off the boots and went to the counter to pay for them. I remember the price being a bit high which bothered Sam. I think they cost $210. But we were out of options.
As Sam finished paying for the boots, the outlaw owner gave him a menacing warning, "If I ever see you walking around with your jeans tucked into those boots, I'll kick the shit out of you and take those boots back."
We left and thought that would be the end of the story.
We had about a 45 minute drive back to the hotel. Along the way, the other agent and I had lots of laughs at Sam's expense. Could Sam have said a worse thing to the outlaw? "This is a Cinderella story."
About an hour later, and we arrived at the hotel. Now, the hotel had a dry-cleaning store near the lobby that also polished boots, and the ropers were dull like a chocolate bar! Sam went into the store and asked for the boots to be polished and ready for the following day. The dry-cleaner continued by making small talk with Sam. It was evident to me that the dry-cleaner was impressed with the quality of the roper boots and he asked Sam, "How much did you pay for them?"
Sam's irritation overflowed! You see, Sam was very concerned that the dry-cleaner was going to steal and sell the boots. Not wanting to assist the dry-cleaner in his suspected criminal enterprise by giving the value of the boots, Sam answered, "I don't believe I feel like discussing that with you." And the three of us left with the other agent and I barely containing our laughter!
The next day the three of us went into the store to get Sam's boots. The boots were far from having a mirror finish. They were better than a chocolate bar but Sam was going to have to put some work in them. Sam was irritated.
Over two decades later, I still use the lines, "a Cinderella story", and "I don't believe I feel like discussing that with you."
Thank you Sam!
A Cinderella Story
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