Border Patrol Stories
Don De Donde
Trainee agents are taught several ways to ask where a person is from in Spanish:
On this day, Ron G. forgot them all...
On a hot day in the early 2000's near Laredo, Texas, Ron and his partners were tracking a group of approximately ten illegal aliens through ranch after ranch. Even though they were using a well known technique of leap-frogging the aliens' sign, the team still hadn't found the group after following it all of the morning and most of the afternoon.
It was Ron's turn to walk the sign under the hot sun and he felt he was getting close to the group. Sure enough, he came across them as they were taking a break, laying under what little shade could be found.
Ron approached the group and wanted to know their citizenship, and immediately forgot almost every word of Spanish he learned...
Now, Ron was a towering man, maybe 6'4" or so. Think of Lurch from the Adams Family with a booming baritone voice.
Ron walks into the middle of the group and says in his best horrible Spanish, "Don de donde." Which means nothing.
Like any poor Spanish speaker when seeing that he has not been understood, he raises his voice even louder and says again, "Don de donde!" The fearful aliens look at him in silence.
Realizing that he is asking the question wrong, Ron asks in a loud, menacing voice, "De donde don! De donde don!"
At this point, the group of aliens panic and run in all directions! And Ron's team of agents, after a long day in the very hot sun, are only able to capture two aliens. The rest disappeared into the brush.
- Cual es su ciudadania? (What is your citizenship?)
- De que pais es usted? (Of which country are you from?)
- De donde es usted? (Where are you from?)
On this day, Ron G. forgot them all...
On a hot day in the early 2000's near Laredo, Texas, Ron and his partners were tracking a group of approximately ten illegal aliens through ranch after ranch. Even though they were using a well known technique of leap-frogging the aliens' sign, the team still hadn't found the group after following it all of the morning and most of the afternoon.
It was Ron's turn to walk the sign under the hot sun and he felt he was getting close to the group. Sure enough, he came across them as they were taking a break, laying under what little shade could be found.
Ron approached the group and wanted to know their citizenship, and immediately forgot almost every word of Spanish he learned...
Now, Ron was a towering man, maybe 6'4" or so. Think of Lurch from the Adams Family with a booming baritone voice.
Ron walks into the middle of the group and says in his best horrible Spanish, "Don de donde." Which means nothing.
Like any poor Spanish speaker when seeing that he has not been understood, he raises his voice even louder and says again, "Don de donde!" The fearful aliens look at him in silence.
Realizing that he is asking the question wrong, Ron asks in a loud, menacing voice, "De donde don! De donde don!"
At this point, the group of aliens panic and run in all directions! And Ron's team of agents, after a long day in the very hot sun, are only able to capture two aliens. The rest disappeared into the brush.
Don De Donde
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