HONOR FIRST
  • Home
    • Award
  • For USBP Applicants
    • Academy
    • Class Schedule
    • Requirements
    • TESTING >
      • Books
      • CBP Official Guide
      • ALT
      • PT Standards
    • HOW TO SUCCEED >
      • The Hiring Procedure
      • Background Investigation >
        • Investigation Process >
          • Polygraph
        • A Happy Investigator
        • NOPA >
          • NOPA Template
        • Fingerprints
      • Career Survival
      • FOIA
      • Main FAQ Page >
        • Hiring Process
        • Hiring Problems
        • Oral Boards
        • Important Phone Numbers
        • eQIP
        • Life at My New Station
        • Other Questions
        • Stupid Questions
    • COMPENSATION >
      • PAY
      • Health Insurance
      • Retirement
    • Communication >
      • Sector Recruiter Information
      • Contact Info
  • USBP Pages and Links
    • Firearms Qualification Course
    • Military Time Buy Back
    • Station MWRs
    • Uniforms, Tattoos, Grooming
    • Fast & Furious
    • U.S. Border Patrol Fallen
    • Honor First and Esprit de Corps
    • USBP Photo Galleries
    • U.S. Border Patrol History >
      • The Father of the Border Patrol
      • The U.S. Border Patrol’s Early Rank and Time-in-Service Insignia
      • Historical Documents
      • This Week in USBP History Blog
    • U.S. Border Patrol Honorary Awards
    • Upholding Honor First >
      • Newton-Azrak Award Recipients
    • U.S. Border Patrol Authorized Devices
    • Border Patrol Stories
    • What's Important Now - Academy Podcast
    • Badges
    • Veterans
    • Tips for the Media
    • Links
    • Acronyms
    • Border Patrol Locations
    • Sector/Station FaceBook Pages
    • Ten Codes
  • Online Forums
    • Grammar
    • Rules
    • Agents Forum Password Request
  • Search

Border Patrol Stories

F**K YOU SMITH!
An Agent was unexpectedly stuck indoors running the detention area called "the tank" one midnight shift.  It was picking season, so almost all of the aliens were "good old boys" - some were even known on sight or even by name.

The Agent was bored out of his mind listening to the radio channels of the other agents having fun, so he decided to teach the guys in the tank some English phraseology.  They seemed to enjoy the lessons, so he told them that whenever somebody opened the door to the tank they were to jump up and repeat the phrase all together and with enthusiasm!  They all practiced this numerous times, and they were really into it.
 
The Agent finally got relieved (late) buy a guy named "Smith".  "Smith" was always late and didn't care.  Smith wanted to know how the tank was doing, and the Agent suggested he should check for himself, so the Agent could leave.  "Smith" stomps off to check the tank, and when he opens the door about 80 guys jump to their feet and yell in perfect unison, "F**K YOU SMITH!", followed by by cheers and applause. 

​A supervisor had just entered and, trying not to smile, shook  his head in mock disapproval while the Agent pretended to look innocent.  Meanwhile Smith, a fanatical tobacco chewer, had swallowed his chaw and was sprinting to the locker room.
 
The perfect ending to what could have been an otherwise boring midnight shift

F**K YOU SMITH!

Help spread the word!

Border Patrol Stories
All HonorFirst.com web pages and documents are copyright 2017 - 2021 by Ray Harris.  All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: 
​HonorFirst.com is in no way affiliated with the Department of Homeland Security,
Customs and Border Protection, or the US Border Patrol.
The US Border Patrol is an equal opportunity employer.