Border Patrol Stories
F**K YOU SMITH!
An Agent was unexpectedly stuck indoors running the detention area called "the tank" one midnight shift. It was picking season, so almost all of the aliens were "good old boys" - some were even known on sight or even by name.
The Agent was bored out of his mind listening to the radio channels of the other agents having fun, so he decided to teach the guys in the tank some English phraseology. They seemed to enjoy the lessons, so he told them that whenever somebody opened the door to the tank they were to jump up and repeat the phrase all together and with enthusiasm! They all practiced this numerous times, and they were really into it.
The Agent finally got relieved (late) buy a guy named "Smith". "Smith" was always late and didn't care. Smith wanted to know how the tank was doing, and the Agent suggested he should check for himself, so the Agent could leave. "Smith" stomps off to check the tank, and when he opens the door about 80 guys jump to their feet and yell in perfect unison, "F**K YOU SMITH!", followed by by cheers and applause.
A supervisor had just entered and, trying not to smile, shook his head in mock disapproval while the Agent pretended to look innocent. Meanwhile Smith, a fanatical tobacco chewer, had swallowed his chaw and was sprinting to the locker room.
The perfect ending to what could have been an otherwise boring midnight shift
The Agent was bored out of his mind listening to the radio channels of the other agents having fun, so he decided to teach the guys in the tank some English phraseology. They seemed to enjoy the lessons, so he told them that whenever somebody opened the door to the tank they were to jump up and repeat the phrase all together and with enthusiasm! They all practiced this numerous times, and they were really into it.
The Agent finally got relieved (late) buy a guy named "Smith". "Smith" was always late and didn't care. Smith wanted to know how the tank was doing, and the Agent suggested he should check for himself, so the Agent could leave. "Smith" stomps off to check the tank, and when he opens the door about 80 guys jump to their feet and yell in perfect unison, "F**K YOU SMITH!", followed by by cheers and applause.
A supervisor had just entered and, trying not to smile, shook his head in mock disapproval while the Agent pretended to look innocent. Meanwhile Smith, a fanatical tobacco chewer, had swallowed his chaw and was sprinting to the locker room.
The perfect ending to what could have been an otherwise boring midnight shift
F**K YOU SMITH!
DISCLAIMER: The views and experiences shared in this story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of HonorFirst.com, the U.S. Border Patrol, or any government agency. These stories are presented for historical and cultural insight and have been submitted by current or former Border Patrol employees with minimal editing for clarity.
