Border Patrol Stories
Rattlesnakes and Rescues
I was on foot, following a group that just entered at the Morelos Dam. It was a cold and wet night as I tracked the group along a low raised embankment between two irrigated fields. Tracking with a flashlight in each hand, my lights lit up a very large "coon tail" rattler curled up right in front of me, blocking the way. He was lethargic because of the cold, and from the dirt on top of him, I could see that the group had unknowingly walked right on him in the dark. Holy shit. Now what to do? He was looking at me, and I was looking at him. With the flooded fields on either side, I could either go over him or retreat. Sigh... I didn't get out of the 8th grade to be doing this kind of shit; I have an education. Just then, about 100 yards ahead, the lights of a BP vehicle lit up when the group ran right up to it.
Another time, I was on the other side of the Colorado River, working days at Andrade, CA. At that time, it was a very "rustic" area, with a vintage POE and a couple of small houses just north of it where some inspectors lived cheap. In the winter, there was a smattering of geezer snowbirds living rough in trailers or pickup campers on the west side of the road. "Dog walking a snowbird." was a common sensor disposition.
As I was about to cut the fence line west from the POE, an old billy goat snowbird flags me down and said that two illegals had just slinked (slunk?) by him, headed north. I thanked the guy and, driving through the brush, I caught them about 100 yards later. I continued north for a short distance when I spotted the biggest coon tail rattler I'd ever seen. Taking careful aim, I fired two shots and that was that. Ex-snake. But I suddenly realized that that wasn't that. The geezer billy goat snowbird had undoubtedly heard the two shots and was probably thinking that I'd just offed the two aliens he'd just reported. Headed back to the billy goat, I found him and some of his pals gathered together, peering expectantly in my direction, like meerkats.
Pulling up, I thanked the snowbird for the tip; he could see the two guys in the back, and as I began to pull away, I paused and told him, "Oh, by the way, I just shot the biggest rattlesnake I've ever seen headed straight towards
your guy's camp. I don't know if any of you skin snakes, but if you follow my truck track north, you can't miss him!" As I drove away, I could see the snowbirds rushing off to find the snake.
I saw the same guys many times that snowbird season, and to them, I was always "the guy who saved them from the monster snake."
Dodged another memo!
Another time, I was on the other side of the Colorado River, working days at Andrade, CA. At that time, it was a very "rustic" area, with a vintage POE and a couple of small houses just north of it where some inspectors lived cheap. In the winter, there was a smattering of geezer snowbirds living rough in trailers or pickup campers on the west side of the road. "Dog walking a snowbird." was a common sensor disposition.
As I was about to cut the fence line west from the POE, an old billy goat snowbird flags me down and said that two illegals had just slinked (slunk?) by him, headed north. I thanked the guy and, driving through the brush, I caught them about 100 yards later. I continued north for a short distance when I spotted the biggest coon tail rattler I'd ever seen. Taking careful aim, I fired two shots and that was that. Ex-snake. But I suddenly realized that that wasn't that. The geezer billy goat snowbird had undoubtedly heard the two shots and was probably thinking that I'd just offed the two aliens he'd just reported. Headed back to the billy goat, I found him and some of his pals gathered together, peering expectantly in my direction, like meerkats.
Pulling up, I thanked the snowbird for the tip; he could see the two guys in the back, and as I began to pull away, I paused and told him, "Oh, by the way, I just shot the biggest rattlesnake I've ever seen headed straight towards
your guy's camp. I don't know if any of you skin snakes, but if you follow my truck track north, you can't miss him!" As I drove away, I could see the snowbirds rushing off to find the snake.
I saw the same guys many times that snowbird season, and to them, I was always "the guy who saved them from the monster snake."
Dodged another memo!
Rattlesnakes and Rescues
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