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  • Home
    • Award
  • For USBP Applicants
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    • Class Schedule
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    • TESTING >
      • Books
      • CBP Official Guide
      • ALT
      • PT Standards
    • HOW TO SUCCEED >
      • The Hiring Procedure
      • Background Investigation >
        • Investigation Process
        • Polygraph
        • A Happy Investigator
        • NOPA >
          • NOPA Template
        • Fingerprints
      • Uniforms, Tattoos, Grooming
      • Career Survival
      • FOIA
      • Main FAQ Page >
        • Hiring Process
        • Hiring Problems
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        • Important Phone Numbers
        • eQIP
        • Life at My New Station
        • Other Questions
        • Stupid Questions
    • COMPENSATION >
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      • Health Insurance
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    • Communication >
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      • Contact Info
  • USBP Pages and Links
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Border Patrol Stories

The Unforgettable Trainee
It was around 1986 in Imperial Beach, working out of the old sheriff substation at I-5 and the border. Tony Ruiz and I were in the office, busy with pre-shift scheduling, when we heard the back door open. We were expecting a fresh group of trainees, but then....

CLACK!.....CLACKCLACKCLACK!

Were those the sounds of heel caps?

You could only imagine a Watch Commander's shock when, around the corner, came this plump humanoid figure dressed in a green uniform and mirror sunglasses. It stamped its heels together, stood to attention, threw up a palm-out English salute, and bellowed, "JOHNNY TROOPER REPORTING SIR".

"Dear God, why me?" I thought.

Sadly, Johnny did not pass his 10 month exam, but during his brief tenure, he managed to commit more foolish acts than any other six trainees I had ever encountered.

The Unforgettable Trainee

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Border Patrol Stories
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