Border Patrol Stories
Trainee "Warren"
APAIC Jerry Neumann, one of the best in the business, called me in and asked me to work my magic. On our first day, we were processing about eight to ten individuals. They were good ol' boys, casually leaning against the wall as we called them forward to the table for processing.
Someone in the line made a comment - nothing inappropriate - and "Warren" exploded. He darted up and down the line until he zeroed in on probably the oldest, most unassuming man there. He seized the old man by the arm and started shouting, "QUE DIGO, QUE DIGO?" ("WHAT DID I SAY, WHAT DID I SAY?"). The old man was screaming back, "NO SE, NO SE!" ("I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW!"), and I found myself in the middle, trying to restore calm.
Perhaps two days later, all seemed right with the world. Around 10 AM, I rounded a curve and spotted a group of about ten individuals drop to their stomachs in the winter wheat. I slowly descended the canal bank until I was level with them - you could see the flattened wheat where they were lying - and called for them to come forward.
They thought they were hidden, and that I would need to walk out there and physically touch them - a game of tag, if you will. I instructed "Warren" to wait at the Jeep and search them before loading them in.
So there I was in the field, moving from one person to another (okay, tag...go to the Jeep)...when suddenly a commotion erupted on the canal bank. Picture this: the Jeep's door was open, the undocumented individuals were standing around calmly, and there was "Warren"... darting back and forth like a rat terrier, screaming "GETASE IN THE JEEPASE!" (an incorrect attempt at saying "GET IN THE JEEP!" in Spanish).
Someone in the line made a comment - nothing inappropriate - and "Warren" exploded. He darted up and down the line until he zeroed in on probably the oldest, most unassuming man there. He seized the old man by the arm and started shouting, "QUE DIGO, QUE DIGO?" ("WHAT DID I SAY, WHAT DID I SAY?"). The old man was screaming back, "NO SE, NO SE!" ("I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW!"), and I found myself in the middle, trying to restore calm.
Perhaps two days later, all seemed right with the world. Around 10 AM, I rounded a curve and spotted a group of about ten individuals drop to their stomachs in the winter wheat. I slowly descended the canal bank until I was level with them - you could see the flattened wheat where they were lying - and called for them to come forward.
They thought they were hidden, and that I would need to walk out there and physically touch them - a game of tag, if you will. I instructed "Warren" to wait at the Jeep and search them before loading them in.
So there I was in the field, moving from one person to another (okay, tag...go to the Jeep)...when suddenly a commotion erupted on the canal bank. Picture this: the Jeep's door was open, the undocumented individuals were standing around calmly, and there was "Warren"... darting back and forth like a rat terrier, screaming "GETASE IN THE JEEPASE!" (an incorrect attempt at saying "GET IN THE JEEP!" in Spanish).
Trainee "Warren"
DISCLAIMER: The views and experiences shared in this story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of HonorFirst.com, the U.S. Border Patrol, or any government agency. These stories are presented for historical and cultural insight and have been submitted by current or former Border Patrol employees with minimal editing for clarity.
